a lifeless, bedside nighttime companion
squeezed between my legs
propped up against my back
huddled for comfort and safety
You exist, just not here
Anymore
And not literally transformed
But your soft, snoozing partnership
In horizontal headspace
Is now mine in reverie
To ponder why, and how, and for how long
I am soloed
Your pillow was never yours
Since I in fact bought it, but bought it for you
But does ownership play part in love?
Whats mine is yours and yours is mine
And yes, you gave me a pillow, too
But because I liked it more
And you liked my pillow, this pillow, more
I would wake refreshed and eager to
Exist, if I used your pillow, that pillow
So that was mine, and
Yours was yours, too
Because when you slumbered as deep as our
Ocean of love, you rose, ready after the night to
Share your catch, an entire net of consciousness
As the boat bed, not on water, sailed the
Seas of sight, light, and sound
As beautiful dreams of you
And now in darkness
Whirled to a world of Z’s
By only the humidifier
I intentionally create humidity
In futile attempts to make an ocean in the air
So your presence in ulterior worlds might be
Absorbed through nostril and skin
That I might glean more reasons, more justifications
For your departure
And if any clarity through dreams or dewiness
Comes, I squeeze it, tight between my knees
My arms protecting what little I have of you left
My sheets still unwashed since your last night
Here, as Her, The One